Sunday, August 31, 2008

open space

reboot, restart, refresh the page...

crabdragons are curious creatures with backwards and sideways processes and cyclical wisdom so the notion of time and deadlines are almost painful. lightening the load. this may cause some initial reclusive introspection, only because there is new space to be explored. special words like "space" and "time" are sitting next to words like "me" and "self". oh shit. has she ever seen such words sitting side by side before?

theres a decent size stack of books that sits on the desk next to the laptop. the laptop is in the shop so the pile of books is now twofold and some of them are open and many of them are marked and highlighted. one that fell off the shelf today that has found its way to the (fa)space is "The Quantum Gods" by someone who calls himself Jeff Love..written the year the dragon was born and he thinks he is smart because he had a conversation with the Qabalah, Freud, a Zen Buddhist and translated it with his quantum(meta)physical lenses on...theres no picture of the author on the back which is most appreciated because than I can consider it without passing judgement on his(story)...we'll see.

clear vision in regards to the nature of our origins is the call of this day. recite ur mantras underyourbreath thru-out(it would be wise to chew on a sprig of mint).... then what happenned?

its a waterfall right/now... crabdragon has some coloring todo with her companions - staedtler ergosoft 24pack pencils. mmmmmm. if only we could share this feeling.

maybe we'll post some of the tactile creationz.

Monday, August 25, 2008


This message will self destruct in 1.5 minutes...

Peace on Wisdom Power.

My laptop is in the shop so my time here is short.

The so-called Democratic National Convention(DNC) is all up in my space. Too many POLEES for this (fa)...and national guard on horse, on humV, on bike, on foot, in hellycopters. OOOOOOOObama is here.

Original Fam is divided between hippyhop & G-Rap

If I thought it mattered I would say vote for Cynthia McKinney but since voting for McKinney might help McKain win well you should prolly vote Obama. I ain't convinced he's Sincere. Electoral process is fixed and bullshit anyway.

never seen so many people in my city b4 and since we like to mosey 'round these parts, its pissin me off that people are rush'n to and fro like they got shit to do (just kiddin...for real tho).

raspberries are bangin this time of year.

I had a dream about Agha... it was too much for this blog... I can't reveal it all like DanTresOmi (altho I like how he tells a story)

My seeds started school today and they all told thier teachers that the work was too easy (I love my children more than I love you).

Co-Parenting can work if you want it to.

How come "cool" coffee shops that carry compostable coffee cups don't ever have compost bins.... wtf?

Peace On Wisdom Power..... self distructing in 5...4...3...2.........

Friday, August 22, 2008

affirmative action

do the knowledge... and if you go to the bottom of the page you can stop the music player and pay full attention :-)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

wisdom cipher:

Dearest UnI-verse,

Again it’s been hard for this (fa) to write. And when its hard for this (fa) to write...we go to the art supply store and shop… power new beautiful micron pens in hunter green, burgundy and super fine black and a watercolor moleskin book, holy – meaning undiluted or tampered with.
U know how when you first heard about knowledge wisdom cipher you had an image of an ancient text that held all athe secrets of the universe. Well this obsessively tactile nature was so visually hurt to have xeroxed pages handed to her… and instructed to create a “binder” to organize the science of everything in life?! Well since doing the knowledge to my self’s nature the ritual of buying an empty book and devoting its pages to knowledge wisdom cipher makes my self content.

Agha told me that since I have 3 planets in Gemini that there are essentially seven bitches in me… so you can imagine what the internal conversation is like...

There is always so much dialogue on the right way and whose way is the right way for self and how to define the self right way without being self righteous? What tools does one use to determine the right angle and who manufactured that tool? How much longer will we be making noise regarding right versus right and exact and again whose tools determine the exact measurements of right(ous)ness? Is the truth still the truth after you translate it? Does it matter how big or small my square is? What if I need some personal space? Can I be independent without being rebellious? Can I have god brothers and god fathers and god suns and god lovers? How much is too much? Who sets the parameters? Aren’t I the best knower of the internal workings of the earth?

I told u once before that the twin gypsies “believe” my self to be “psychic”. I assure and re-assure them that I just do the knowledge and thereby might have a natural vision for the larger equation.

When I do find that one will I be too deeply involved in my self to acknowledge him? That might be one of my biggest fears. I have written a list for him.
p.s. gimme some money for SOLAR! I appreciate U...enclosed is a picture of my holy book.

FaaTma Behesht Earth

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Today was the day to tear down the walls.

Right after a full moon and 7 days of rain.. bare walls are so full of what was. I found otis redding on magnetic reels and a player to match. I’m covered in dust and brick, but I can see every crevice & every nail and the past present and future they hold.

It’s humbling to wield a sledgehammer and tear away what was built because it wasn’t appropriate for your supreme plan. It takes some muscle to even pick the damn hammer up, and when upon first penetration it made me gasp with the thought of “am I sure I want to do this?” and “what if, what if, what if?”

...just to kept tearing and kicking and punching and peeling and sweeping away the debris, I could see… I could see the foundation. I could see where I was standing. I could see the future. I could see it in all its simple perfection.

Thats a pic of my GodBrother and business partner Lavell.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

its been raining in the desert.... at least 4 days in a row already... it was cold enuf for soup and heart shaped bisquits today (vegan of course). My daughters and I like to make "kitchen sink" soup. The premise is that you put everything in it 'cept the kitchen sink.

So, today it was (in chronological order for those intuitive chefs) sunflower oil, garlic, onion,fresh dill, celery, chard, roma tomato, purple potato, brown rice, sunburst squash, tumeric, cumin, almond milk, and.... celtic sea salt.... mmmmmmmm I know you wish you had some. I have a big ol' pot of it if you wanna come over. :-D

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What turns me on. (in more than just that way)
Hot Springs
Micron pens
Charcoal sticks
Arches paper
Wet clay
Japanese brushes
Food with every color
Raw chocolate
Dark chocolate
Fruit dipped in chocolate
Mangos on a stick
Playing in the dirt
Riding my bike at dusk
Feeding u
Salt scrubs
Dates (the fruit)
Reading Words
Unloading the kiln
Carving wood
Sanding stone
Painting pots
Buddha extract
Quantum mechanics
Making elixir
Yoga in the Dark
Writing Words
Hot showers
New Journals
Honey Wine

Monday, August 11, 2008

as old as it is new

Vanilla is black….

Native to Mexico and commonly produced in Tahiti and Madagascar it was originally called tlilxóchitl by the Aztec peoples, which means BLACK Flower.

The Word Vanilla derives (not surprisingly) from the Latin word for vagina. To the Romans, vagina meant sheath or scabbard (the place you put a knife y’all). The Spanish adopted the word as vaina, which developed a diminutive form, vainilla, meaning “little sheath”. The Spanish made this diminutive the name of the plant because its pods resemble sheaths. ....way too many innuendo's.

This is a story about understanding soil or light skinned original women and thier journey back to themselves… This is emphatically not a story about white women who desire to be original...let’s set the record str8 once and for all.… Vanilla is BLACK.

Everyone has a story I know… for those us of immigrant sisters who are light skinned indigenous peoples we have one too… usually involved a struggle with traditions old and new and trying to find self while walking the fine line between the ancient and so-called modernity… a lot of experimentation within and without cultures and at some point rebellion in some form or fashion from old tradition and then the same rebellion from modernity….

My Iranian ass is most def displaced…. For a long time just had to tuck the thought away that I was born in the wrong class of people (working class that is) and the wrong culture (Irooni). What’s interesting is that many so-called Persians who come to this country came as refugees… but they were royalist supporters of the Shah or children of. These families generally have OLD money, and brought it with them, mostly to LA to implant themselves (and get implants) creating what they now call Tehrangales (Tehran + Los Angeles = Tehrangales)

That’s not how I got here. My lineage is working class. Romeo and Juliet ish brought my parents together and entrepreneurial illegal pharmaceuticals… just months before the revolution. Addiction, Prison, Food stamps, government cheese, canned meat, ghetto public schools, second hand everything and I forgot how to speak Farsi by the time I was 7, even tho it was my first language.

Vanilla is sooo black……

It wasn’t called the black flower for its petals which are pale yellow (like some of us) it was instead highly sought after for its pods which become black after they are properly cultivated…

I know many many immigrant sisters who take the synthetic vanilla road… because they can “pass” attempt to assimilate into popular white culture, dying hair blond, getting blue contacts, and starving themselves to fit into the parameters of western European modernity… the result of this is a lifelong façade that ends in exotic bitter betrayal of self… synthetic vanilla is derived from ethanol… nothing natural about it… and is made to seem other than itself, is cheaper to acquire and the quality is far inferior to the original, which is true of all things extracted from original and all things synthetic that emulate the original.

I did it too in my own rebellious way… well I didn’t come up in the suburbs and when I was comin up punk rock kids didn’t live in the suburbs either (and please don’t get punk rock confused with new wave)… so many of them did however grow up to be stockbrokers and stay at home moms who drive Volvos and take their kids to drama class at the age of 3? (maybe that’s how working class white kids rebel against their circumstances) I was an oddball immigrant, who didn’t have a home in my own country (because it became the Islamic republic of blah blah blah) and didn’t have one here either (because I represent the Islamic republic of blah blah blah…apparently)…and so I felt more at home with the subculture deviants and criminals (who are always more honest about themselves than anyone else)…Punk rock was optimistic depression… social anarchy and socialist theory were such beautiful daydreams….well it ended up being the same exotic bitterness cept now… I know Vanilla is Black, and that pretty much saved my life.

Vanilla is BLACK and let’s not get this confused with African, which is also black yet that’s not what I’m buildin on today.…

You may get it… you may not… you can ask me to clarify if you need me to… I will explain to the best of my abilities… just know this…

Vanilla is Ancient… black, sweet, and essential to after dinner treats….

Vanillicado Parfait –

3 Avocados
3 second pour of Raw Agave Nectar
1.5 second pour organic black vanilla


(I know its green… but Avocado’s are really Black anyway so don’t sweat it)

Layers of Pecans or Almonds (or both)
Layer of fruit (I do strawberries, bananas and blueberries)

It’s good and it HEALS

Originally and medicinally Vanilla is known as an aphrodisiac, not surprising as many sweet smelling plants are. In the 16th century a study was done in Germany with Vanilla used as a cure for impotence. All smiling 362 participants agreed. Of course our South American family already knew this to be true and told Cortez before he took it with him.

I know an elder brother who uses pure Vanilla extract in his coffee and I swear his body odor smells of Vanilla…hmmmmm.

Some more recent studies show that Vanillan, the main constituent in Vanilla, has been found to inhibit the migration and invasion of cancer cells. This means it can stop cancer from spreading and can act as a defense from cells mutating into cancerous ones. This is very recent research and I’m not presenting it as a cure yet research is being done.

While I’m not at all an advocate of extracting a single constituent from what was a whole plant and calling it medicine, or taking a sister out of her native land and calling her American, I do advocate research of whole plants and whole people…. Eat vanilla, it’s BLACK and it’s good for you.

FaaTma Behesht Earth

Saturday, August 9, 2008

"Agha" made the observation that we (the entire bloggroll of women who like words)have a contradiction attached to our pencil (and keyboard)…. We can’t share ours like they do without judgement of a jezebel persuasion.

What if I was brave enough to share.

reading thru ancient journals this morning and was amazed at how much passive rationalization was there. Well since then Sadness has left the building... now I'm in love with the feeling of feeling… everything even when it’s not apparently joyous. Depth of each vibration, where it opens chakras and resonates where it turns over and cultivates.

I would testify that in order to know exalted joy you should experience the other…

What if practicing self love isn’t about masturbation….what about falling in love with all your closets and cliffs…. Maybe it’s called “practice” because it’s ok to fuck up and get up again.

What if I am brave enough to hear the truth….because a lie is a lie.. when your witholding is it the same thing?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Random patterns (not a title, just an observation)

I’m goin thru something… can’t put my finger on it yet, a mentalmorph(metamorphosis) maybe, bornutruth this seems to be a lifelong transformation….


I can (and absolutely do) remember the many moments of epiphany that started a transformative process as well as the earthquake that came before the plateau…

the plateau is contemplative, data sort, analysis…internal translation.
The epiphany is auric orgasms in undefined space.

I’m wary of sharing my internal language as there are always references to unspoken truths and inside jokes (some only known to me) layers, stratum, substratum, dimensions that seem to go on forever so much so that even the crabdragon can lose herself in it… and forget.(6:14)

I travel a lot (3planetsingemini)…. Travel is good. keeping direction... Who’s right angle do I use to measure? Mine seems to take rights into spirals. (15:36)

Will he ever come inside? Even inside where its dark there is always at least the subtle glow from the firy orb out there. (thinking of 6:10)

I had planned to build on equality, my equality today is to share those innerterminals. equality is as equality does I spose.

c.1400, "faculty of perception," also "meaning or interpretation" (esp. of Holy Scripture), from O.Fr. sens, from L. sensus "perception, feeling, undertaking, meaning," from sentire "perceive, feel, know," prob. a fig. use of a lit. meaning "to find one's way," from PIE base *sent- "to go" (cf. O.H.G. sinnan "to go, travel, strive after, have in mind, perceive," Ger. Sinn "sense, mind," O.E. sið "way, journey," O.Ir. set, Welsh hynt "way"). Application to any one of the external or outward senses (touch, sight, hearing, etc.) first recorded 1526

Sunday, August 3, 2008

ecliptic understandings

it was a few days after the new moon eclipse and she thought to herself, "I have two choices. I can go outside with the rulebook and do the knowledge to the world outside the shell and run the risk of losing the shell (daydreamz) or to go inside and get lost amidst the inside of everything in existence and risk losing "them"... Crabdragons are sore losers and are easily distracted ....

Must choose? Really?

bornuniversaltruth on this day the crabdragon was outside, tryna learn the game (again). She was talking with herself about how this was the last time she was gonna play outside cuz she was sure she wasn’t playin the game right… the rules were backwards and everyone used their words out of order and without meaning , inflections rarely matching the utterances. It confused the crabdragon to no end.

You see crabs walk sideways and backwards and dragons fly in circles… so taking directions is not something crabdragons do well if at all….

…crabdragon decided to try again. She began to chant her psalm in her mind and walk thru the wilderness, which by this time of year was full and bursting with fruits for her to digest. As she was picking tart cherries and sweet raspberries on her tao she caught the scent of sulfur. Crabdragons being made up of fiyawata have an affinity, no, an obsession for the natural warm hotsprings that detox while u daydream. She couldn’t resist a dip in the pool.

She knew she would have to undress and that scared her oh so much but she also knew that no one was ever to contaminate the pools with thier baggage. so she clenched her eyes shut and peeled off her outer layers to step into the pool.

As she lay in the warmth bubbling and tingling she peeked open her I to watch her dragonfly sisters resting and flying and sparkling. A beautiful purple and silver dragonfly sister of hers sat next to her perched on the rocks that made up the pool and blew her a bubble and as it floated downward she followed it with her two I’s.

To crabdragons surprise, she saw the suns reflection in the water, and thru that shining orb she saw herself....aaaaah..... for the first time in a while outside of her shell……

Saturday, August 2, 2008

peace. wisdom is the way...the way today is via the digital ethers... I'm writing from my dash (my celly)
I c how my old earth is affected by the information age and how she feels frozen in time. (she is actually learning how to maneuver the www) And on the flip part of the curriculum at my seeds school is online (they move with power! I swear my seeds are airbenders) ... crabdragon is an adaptable creature who has no qualms about learning ancient art forms as well as innovations in theory and time(s) ... theres nothin new anyway ....I imagine its all been done before bornuniversaltruth its my turn to walk the tao and I enjoy the HOW (wisdom) just as much as the knowledge and the understanding.

Friday, August 1, 2008

I've kept a journal for as long as i can remember... and every few years I go thru and reread and tear out pages to save and throw the rest out... also nowadays or for the past few years I've started to write differently... everyone has an aka, mostly this is to prevent the stalkers from going crazy... only I know thier true Identity and that way I can share it and call it fiction (well sometimes it has only happened in my mind but those are just as real as anything else)... I've introduced a few of our characters like the matrix encylopedia - a wiz at data collection, processing information digital and analog and spitting it back out in whatever translation you need - shes a sage. knowledge seed buddha -hood supastar and enlightened manchild , crabdragon - the socialite introvert enigma... you'll meet the rest sooner...
we made calabacita (well my version of it)
its so perty right?... and mmmmmm