Sunday, December 28, 2008


She had a dream.

Looking at her feet which were bare... long naked toes, feet criss crossed over each other. "what if someone sees them?"

Looking up to see water as far as the eye can see... just the slightest ripple.  no land just water. beautiful grey blue, flickering light on the surface but cannot see the source of light.

"How am I not in it? Who took me away?"

Looking  down to see a solidary rock.  Sturdy and raised just inches above the water.  The rock of the mountains by the valley where she rests.  Barely a splash against the rock.  The solitary stone in the water.

Feet are bare, water is still... is it a lake?  No, there is no beginning nor ending.  Why is it so still?... it isn't, the current is constant and gentle.

She understands. Everything exists as a constant.  Accept it graciously and master self.  The trader doesn't exist except as ego.  She could jump in but decides to let her body slide off the rock... naked feet first... into the elixir of life.


Sunday, December 7, 2008

God is Go(o)d

...can't keep up with y'all... plus its the season to hibernate which I self b very very very proficient at. All is well and up and down and sideways and like clockwork its seemingly random as anything. I'm only blogging today because too many people have called me to say "where the fuck have you been?"

...was versing with this brother and asked him a question and he told me that I should be mindful of my language.... too wordy. keep it simple. Ok. I'll walk with that.

...was versing with this sister who was telling me about myself and my cycles and then stopped mid sentence and said "I just realized I was telling you all the ish I should be telling myself" I love when that happens... no matter who the epiphany is for its lovely.

...was told that I use the term brilliant too often and in the wrong way. So if you hear I say it than you should know its not to comment about how smart something or someone is, instead I use it to mean glorious, splendid, magnificent, and even shining intensely... in fact I usually mean it to say "wow".

... saw this flick (I heart Huckabees) and halfway thru we realized they were philosophically set trippin... theoretically gang bangin... existentialists versus nihilists ( you hear that Em... you should watch it!)

Goin to Oakland next week, so if you rest there let me know where the vegetable nerds and mudlingers b at.

FaaTma Behesht Earth

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

makin out with God...

I met the highly favored one... and have been inspired in hues of golds, olives, and oceans at night... butterflies are bout to bless my hands with creation.... when crabdragon is in this space she only speaks in tongue(s)...overtones of the magnetic... cyclical stylings of air and water makes what? bubbles... and fyawata flavored rhetoric..... she grew up reading and writing in metaphor, under concrete and powder she wasn't spose to touch.....the plants always busted thru steadfast bricks.... mix it all up and you got some rebellious hard love....

Monday, November 10, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

food + justice + me = ?

everynow and again I go on a seemingly angry rant about mufuckas. please don't be hurt by my sailors mouf... please know that I am just fine and content as can be because I can vent when I Need too.

it was a bout knowledge cipher rotations past (10 years ago) that I first presented the idea of "food justice" to my boss at a non profit organization around youth organizing. I am in no way saying that I am the founder of said phrase or ideology. what I am saying is that I presented the idea to my boss, who was also my close sister and mentor. the organization I worked for worked labor issues, immigrant rights issues, education policy... and what made us different was that we were an organization that was run by people of color for people of color and the youth were doing all the organizing. brilliant minds and passion that comes in youth is not a force to reckon with... they will cut you deep with honesty and reality...I miss them.

so as I'm telling my sister this, she says "faa... thats hippie shit and these kids are happy to get some hot cheetos and sprite"(back when sprite and common was cool)

true... I'll acknowledge that it may have been so then... but not nowadays

see NOW those same punk ass organizers who was callin me hippie and crackin jokes at me while I read a label or did research on a company who made a proclamation to care about my guts or while I was not free to be hungover with them cus I was gardening, are NOW talkin about teachin the youth to organize around what? food justice... well these mufuckas thought that they would sidestep me and go get "learned" on the issue and be able to organize around it....only ever heard of Van Jones cus he was on the View or some shit, only heard about environmental racism because I been whispering under my breath for the last decade...

anyway, once they realize what it entails to work the earth (metaphor intended) they decide to call... NOW I get phone calls to speak at this roundtable and that forum, and this national blahblah... and my first reaction is Anger... because I don't do this because its cool or fun or "in" .... and it is fun (if you think physical labor is fun) and it is cool (if you think health as wealth is cool) and you are "in" (the dirt alot) but WE mudslingers do it because we give a shit about y'alls punk asses.

stop tryna be cool and think! it is a beautiful thing to harvest your own paradise. right now the fall is the most beautiful example of born going into knowledge... the wealth of organic matter in its various shapes and colors decompose and what is rest for us (winter) is transformation to the earth... in the spring when we/earth blossoms, the overful and overstimulated disregard the simple complexity of her creation and never realize that it takes the most natural collection of efforts to create her paradise....

love your earth, cultivate her, stop worryin about what you look like standin on her... she loves you stupid....

Monday, November 3, 2008

I'm a lil yellow myself... :-D Got this one from Jeff Chang

Monday, October 27, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

this womans work....

I just went to see Maxwell.... If y'all hadn't figured it out by now... I STAY busy... so for me to go to a concert was a miracle in itself... when he sang this song... its true... crabdragon distilled (with all the other women in the audience)  youtube says I can't embed this video... but you should watch it... it reminds me of many many conversations I've had with god(s) recently... the visual metaphor in the video is above and beyond a story... whew... too bad I have commitment issues...

Friday, October 24, 2008

bein a sucker for original artists and photography.... I thought I would share this today.

The rest of the crazy images are here

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

u are not in the world... the world is in u

  crabdragons in love are a most awe inspiring sight.  It may only last for a day, a season or a year, so if one observes this rare habit of a rare creature, one should stop and be present with the crabdragon... ha... for real tho... the thing about the crabdragon is that she changes her mind quite frequently, which is different than not being able to make up your mind because she is quite firm in her opinions, until they change.

so crabdragon wanders the earth in search of nothing, in awe of life and its hurdles and blessings... decides it would be nice to spend some time curled up in the corner of the local gypsy tavern... a hooooooookah and a book on personology.

"I'll have some mint tea momma"... elder gypsy prefers this title to a name, she is just like crabdragons momma so its an honored title, " thank you..."

and then what happenned?


"..... I've been meaning to C u sis... wanna join me?"

after an hour or so of mathematical flirtations and metaphors about bees and buttafly's...

" should know you are a blessing... I just wanna tell you this NOW because tomoro isn't promised and I don't mean that in a apocalyptic kinda way... I mean you never know how you will change/transform from one day to the next and how you will C the universe.... so you should know that you blessed my day and today is forever right now..."

speaking in affirmations that are posted on sticky notes thruout the inside of my shell...

"smile when you think of me ... it keeps the weather nice..."

crabdragon and twinflamebuddha exchanged books, wrote a psalm in each others journals and parted.

being present in that moment wast the best present for that moment.

"How beautiful you are in my I's"

aaaaah mushy mushy crabdragon... get back to work.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

my youngest is a natural photographer... she has a brilliant eye for natural moments... I was dumping pics onto my computer because it had been a while and I found her most recent images... I never share pictures of my fam so you should all feel quite special... I love my babies.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Peace and pay attention to your personal patterns and how they affect everything you interact with, absorb the order of things and respect the models left for us to draw from.

public journaling is wild and crazy... I read blogs more than I write them so I'm often left wondering if people are who they say they are....  internet persona's are an epidemic of grand proportions so I s'pose I am left to rely on the notion that those who are like me will be attracted to me... did that make sense?

we could look at it a couple of different ways...(well really the perceptions are unlimited so here I am generalizing again as if I'm so smart) so lets just say these are my personal observations/judgments about blogging

1) journaling is a release and people who are prone to obsessive/compulsive journaling (like myself) are prone to be secretive, out of shyness, or fear of judgment or whatever the case may be would rather not share with people or in some cases don't have the opportunity to do so, and so instead confide in their books....

here I would imagine that a public journal could be really fucking therapeutic.  I always threaten to start an anonymous blog (or maybe I already have started it....woohahahahahaaa) and how thats probably the only place that I can really release because no one knows where to find it! Anyway... if folks are building and learning and receiving wisdom from random people whom they don't physically know, in theory it could be a really interesting and therapeutic dialogue... which apparently I am really interested in... :-)

2) some people are full of shit and so far removed from themselves that they are allowed the freedom/or prison of creating and propagating some real mundane realities... its really just that simple.... hows that for simple complexities.

3)some people use the internet to socialize under the guise of networking.  I have said before that I am wary of romancing the innernet... I am absolutely speaking from experience and it wasn't just a solitary case of bad judgement.  its an emotional trainwreck waiting to happen.

are any of y'all of the caliber to know folks who were or are yourselves D&D heads?  well If you don't know what I'm talking about then you may skip to the next paragraph... if you DO... doesn't it seem like those same folks are now online speed daters?  "oh so and so is talking to so and so... well nah they never met physically but they've been serious since the first season of avatar..."   anyway... y'all know I'm talkin' about myself right? just kidding.... for real tho.. ha!

4)  this is new media... and its the first time since the inception of free will, that we can build philosophy, wold politicking, global organizing, we could maybe even ... overthrow the man (did I say that out loud?) ... (no you just typed it so they may not have heard you...)

more on this soon.... btw I do... absolutely do... have daily fantasies ... about ... doing this for money... blogging u perv!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

My homegirl and I have this ongoing joke that we'd rather have a man like google than like yahoo... cus google knows everything, is resourceful and looks good... yahoo still looks like hes a teenager, doesn't get as much done and can't really stay on task without tryna sell u somethin ( ads for days)  ... anyway...all that to say I should work for google....

52 things you can do with google besides the obvious...webrowsing.

the other inside joke is that I'm a pc and shes a mac... ha... I think were gonna make our own version of the commercial... have y'all seen the new pc commercials?  I'ma a pc and I wear... headbands....

Friday, October 10, 2008

this is the thing... I really do know that you can manifest anything you ask for.  Anything you see in your minds eye, anything you plan for.  I also know that quantity helps.  I wonder what would happen if like minds got in a room more often to VISION.  it may sound spooky to some of you who are dumb, yet the reality is... the more intentional energy that goes into something, the more likely and the more swiftly it will manifest.

however...before we all get in a room with our garbled, loud and interrupting thoughts lets learn to quiet some of that mess.

* my son reminded me this morning (he is doin the knowledge to his cipher/10) that you can activate more neurons in your mind when you practice FOCUS...which he says will allow a person to use more of your brain power.

what does it look like when you sit down and have a conversation with all those voices in your head without any order?  are they talking over each other?  can you even complete a thought?

I know this sister who is wild anyway...yet as I observe her in silence with herself, her eyes are shifty like she is havin a screamin match with her baby daddy... which leads me to the conclusion that she is conflicted in her own mind.  do the knowledge to every cipher people.

the most valuable cipher to your development is always gon be your own mind.  don't let it rule you... love it up, teach it to calm down and move with ease and focus.

I am so in love with myself today... I build y'all are too.  be healthy y'all

Thursday, October 9, 2008

i love u
come plain wit it...

check out my brother C'BS Alife Allah's post at the Journal of Allah's 5%

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


everybody better have somethin to say about what we just watched tonight.

First of all, Mccain's arms are really short, look like they are made of wood and his robotic mannerisms are really distracting, he looks like he is about to keel over at any minute and bounces around like kermit the frog when he's anxious... does anyone really want to put a 71 yr old man who can barely walk or talk and breathe at the same time in charge?

why the fuck does he think its a gift to offer people a tax cut and then instruct them to go spend it on insurance?

did Obama say "I think the straight talk express just lost a wheel?  HA!

did Mccain really say "or somthin like that"?, "that guy" (reffering to Obama) and that "nuclear power is safe and clean"?

if mccain by some crazy miscount happens to win because they forgot to count the votes in colorado, florida and ohio  we all better pack our shit up and declare allegiance to some properly run socialist goverment!


that about sums it up

drunk dailing

google is so effin smart!!  read me

Saturday, October 4, 2008

culture in my inners

there have been a few things missing lately....born universal truth I think I've found them.

its been excruciatingly silent since 1) my hard drive died (with too many music files in it) and was replaced and 2) lost my ipod ... I have since found it so the lifeblood has been restored, yet it was a most torturous series of earthquakes in my inner-terminals this past couple of weeks.

the power of silence is a force I haven't had to reckon with in a long time. being forced to acknowledge the 7 bitches within (having understanding(3) planets in gemini... recognizing which voice is vanity, which is ego, which is the abstainer, which is a hypochondriac, which is scared (of u), which is creating, which is clarity, which is true, which is wisdom.... aaaaaaah... and then which voice is singing... because that did start happening after a while.

this elder god in the sufic tradition with the name of hazrat inayat khan has wisdom in a book which calls itself The Mysticism of Sound and Music... most of which is the same lecture series over and over, but he does drop jewels on finding your voice... and to just speak true, and sing true and you'll find the octave, vibrations,notes etcetera that are yours truly and be a tool to use to develop self.

music is my bff y'all... Kian, Asiya & Ajala are the only people on the planet that I crave constant communication with and thats because I birthed them.

born universal truth (the best acronym ever) I had always known music to trigger openings in my mind... never realized till lately that there are some things I won't "hear" because I am listening to my "want"ing for answers..... does that makes sense? want is just as real and true as the bitches within... and since I'll be the first to tell another sister that they better listen to thier inner bitches so that they don't try to break out and cause havoc, I oughtta follow that rule of thumb myself.... mine weren't really tryna stir up trouble in the yard... but they shir was cookin up some brew in the attic... ha.

also... I've been hearin in the wind that I am meant to reconcile with a sister that I disconnected from...on purpose... trust, the feeling was mutual, and apparently now, when you call yourself a builder in the community, you have to let water flow under the bridge... we don't build dams and lakes... stagnant water only breed one form of sustaining life... bacteria. So I have to think about that one for a minute...

the newest addition

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

melancholy is like the cool breeze that u let in thru a cracked window in winter... on purpose - crabdragon

Hero's is the dopest show out right now (and House - but for a whole notha reason)

You must know by now that I am in fact a superhero(in) and that I mostly fraternize with other superhero's as well. One of the gifts I posess is ESP which = an uncanny ability to pay attention with all of my senses.

I know a hero who writes the matrix, and another who translates it, one who is magnetic, one who has sex powers and one who can speak any language that exists, one who is faster than lighting, one who has a razor sharp tongue, and one who can only hear the truth no matter what comes out of your mouth, one who lives in multiple dimensions (and is aware of it), one who can hypnotize you and a couple who have mastered Quantum Physics...

this show is appealing literally and metaphorically. In the flesh and in the ethers. its hyper-illustrated-existentialism at its best.

Pay attention to yourselves y'all... its a good fuckin story.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

nothin in particular is prompting this rant except that it was a conversation worth mentioning(reminding)...

we were working working working typing clicking 140 characters a minute working and had an epiphany as we type and click and talk about life while we work and type as the earth turns....

I don't want to be in love with anyone who is (co)dependant or insulted by my work ethic... it would be the lovliest arrangement to find someone who is fulfilled in thier flyness whom I can be fly right next to. right next to. right next to. (sounds like some spoken word if you say it aloud)

I knowledge as we are younger we wish for a thing that completes us, however, when we are whole beings...(WHOLE not hole beings) it makes more sense to have a partner whom you sit right next to. walk right next to. run and fly right next to.

we've all done that other: vanity, jealousy, envy, possesiveness, secrets, stacking bones in the closet type so-called love. gone so far as to attempt to fit my figure into someone elses old used box. all that pain and extreme discomfort in hopes of some "completion"

i really enjoy pleasure. not gluttonous, just extremely sensitive. it don't take much either way. so good is good and good is God and thats all we dealing with goin forward...

another fyi: guilt is like the sound of the gun at the beginning of the race. run!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The notebook is back, they gave her a new motherboard (how traumatic), lost my ac adapter, gave me a universal in the meantime, poor lil pakistani boys(bredren!)at geek squad are overworked and underpaid.

updates on downtime
my brilliant daughters (who are realizing God,7, and building on her way to born,8 goin on 9)started thier own business... we'll be launching the website soon... I'll keep you posted

my brilliant son (who is clearly doing the knowledge to his cipher,10)has discovered that he "thinks" he is smarter than his teacher. (He might be actually) telling her that the work he's doing is hard while he goofs off and breezes thru it in the last 5 minutes of class... problem is...he shared his plan with me... and while I absolutely understand his genius plot and executed it myself thru-out school, I may have to be a kill joy and rectify this situation... still thinking about how I can make it known without the teacher feeling manipulated and my son feeling betrayed.... I'll keep you posted

CrabDragon had a long talk with herself and admitted to having commitment issues (were a lil sideways and backwards so it can take time for the obvious to be voiced)

we (me and the other 6 bitches) have been very busy cutting lineoleum (chinese woodblock traditions)and refurbishing furniture (sanding,painting)in the house.

I did damn near write (yes hand write) half of my memoirs...and I'm not going to share it with you....because I'm sure there are at least 30 more good years to go

CrabDragon is considering the notion of meeting SuperGod and letting her eyes lead her out of her cozy shell... I'll keep you posted.

Poetry is for suckas. just kidding...maybe.(don't hit me)

Monday, September 1, 2008

my brother Sincere is a PurpleYamster

Sunday, August 31, 2008

open space

reboot, restart, refresh the page...

crabdragons are curious creatures with backwards and sideways processes and cyclical wisdom so the notion of time and deadlines are almost painful. lightening the load. this may cause some initial reclusive introspection, only because there is new space to be explored. special words like "space" and "time" are sitting next to words like "me" and "self". oh shit. has she ever seen such words sitting side by side before?

theres a decent size stack of books that sits on the desk next to the laptop. the laptop is in the shop so the pile of books is now twofold and some of them are open and many of them are marked and highlighted. one that fell off the shelf today that has found its way to the (fa)space is "The Quantum Gods" by someone who calls himself Jeff Love..written the year the dragon was born and he thinks he is smart because he had a conversation with the Qabalah, Freud, a Zen Buddhist and translated it with his quantum(meta)physical lenses on...theres no picture of the author on the back which is most appreciated because than I can consider it without passing judgement on his(story)...we'll see.

clear vision in regards to the nature of our origins is the call of this day. recite ur mantras underyourbreath thru-out(it would be wise to chew on a sprig of mint).... then what happenned?

its a waterfall right/now... crabdragon has some coloring todo with her companions - staedtler ergosoft 24pack pencils. mmmmmm. if only we could share this feeling.

maybe we'll post some of the tactile creationz.

Monday, August 25, 2008


This message will self destruct in 1.5 minutes...

Peace on Wisdom Power.

My laptop is in the shop so my time here is short.

The so-called Democratic National Convention(DNC) is all up in my space. Too many POLEES for this (fa)...and national guard on horse, on humV, on bike, on foot, in hellycopters. OOOOOOOObama is here.

Original Fam is divided between hippyhop & G-Rap

If I thought it mattered I would say vote for Cynthia McKinney but since voting for McKinney might help McKain win well you should prolly vote Obama. I ain't convinced he's Sincere. Electoral process is fixed and bullshit anyway.

never seen so many people in my city b4 and since we like to mosey 'round these parts, its pissin me off that people are rush'n to and fro like they got shit to do (just kiddin...for real tho).

raspberries are bangin this time of year.

I had a dream about Agha... it was too much for this blog... I can't reveal it all like DanTresOmi (altho I like how he tells a story)

My seeds started school today and they all told thier teachers that the work was too easy (I love my children more than I love you).

Co-Parenting can work if you want it to.

How come "cool" coffee shops that carry compostable coffee cups don't ever have compost bins.... wtf?

Peace On Wisdom Power..... self distructing in 5...4...3...2.........

Friday, August 22, 2008

affirmative action

do the knowledge... and if you go to the bottom of the page you can stop the music player and pay full attention :-)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

wisdom cipher:

Dearest UnI-verse,

Again it’s been hard for this (fa) to write. And when its hard for this (fa) to write...we go to the art supply store and shop… power new beautiful micron pens in hunter green, burgundy and super fine black and a watercolor moleskin book, holy – meaning undiluted or tampered with.
U know how when you first heard about knowledge wisdom cipher you had an image of an ancient text that held all athe secrets of the universe. Well this obsessively tactile nature was so visually hurt to have xeroxed pages handed to her… and instructed to create a “binder” to organize the science of everything in life?! Well since doing the knowledge to my self’s nature the ritual of buying an empty book and devoting its pages to knowledge wisdom cipher makes my self content.

Agha told me that since I have 3 planets in Gemini that there are essentially seven bitches in me… so you can imagine what the internal conversation is like...

There is always so much dialogue on the right way and whose way is the right way for self and how to define the self right way without being self righteous? What tools does one use to determine the right angle and who manufactured that tool? How much longer will we be making noise regarding right versus right and exact and again whose tools determine the exact measurements of right(ous)ness? Is the truth still the truth after you translate it? Does it matter how big or small my square is? What if I need some personal space? Can I be independent without being rebellious? Can I have god brothers and god fathers and god suns and god lovers? How much is too much? Who sets the parameters? Aren’t I the best knower of the internal workings of the earth?

I told u once before that the twin gypsies “believe” my self to be “psychic”. I assure and re-assure them that I just do the knowledge and thereby might have a natural vision for the larger equation.

When I do find that one will I be too deeply involved in my self to acknowledge him? That might be one of my biggest fears. I have written a list for him.
p.s. gimme some money for SOLAR! I appreciate U...enclosed is a picture of my holy book.

FaaTma Behesht Earth

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Today was the day to tear down the walls.

Right after a full moon and 7 days of rain.. bare walls are so full of what was. I found otis redding on magnetic reels and a player to match. I’m covered in dust and brick, but I can see every crevice & every nail and the past present and future they hold.

It’s humbling to wield a sledgehammer and tear away what was built because it wasn’t appropriate for your supreme plan. It takes some muscle to even pick the damn hammer up, and when upon first penetration it made me gasp with the thought of “am I sure I want to do this?” and “what if, what if, what if?”

...just to kept tearing and kicking and punching and peeling and sweeping away the debris, I could see… I could see the foundation. I could see where I was standing. I could see the future. I could see it in all its simple perfection.

Thats a pic of my GodBrother and business partner Lavell.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

its been raining in the desert.... at least 4 days in a row already... it was cold enuf for soup and heart shaped bisquits today (vegan of course). My daughters and I like to make "kitchen sink" soup. The premise is that you put everything in it 'cept the kitchen sink.

So, today it was (in chronological order for those intuitive chefs) sunflower oil, garlic, onion,fresh dill, celery, chard, roma tomato, purple potato, brown rice, sunburst squash, tumeric, cumin, almond milk, and.... celtic sea salt.... mmmmmmmm I know you wish you had some. I have a big ol' pot of it if you wanna come over. :-D

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What turns me on. (in more than just that way)
Hot Springs
Micron pens
Charcoal sticks
Arches paper
Wet clay
Japanese brushes
Food with every color
Raw chocolate
Dark chocolate
Fruit dipped in chocolate
Mangos on a stick
Playing in the dirt
Riding my bike at dusk
Feeding u
Salt scrubs
Dates (the fruit)
Reading Words
Unloading the kiln
Carving wood
Sanding stone
Painting pots
Buddha extract
Quantum mechanics
Making elixir
Yoga in the Dark
Writing Words
Hot showers
New Journals
Honey Wine

Monday, August 11, 2008

as old as it is new

Vanilla is black….

Native to Mexico and commonly produced in Tahiti and Madagascar it was originally called tlilxóchitl by the Aztec peoples, which means BLACK Flower.

The Word Vanilla derives (not surprisingly) from the Latin word for vagina. To the Romans, vagina meant sheath or scabbard (the place you put a knife y’all). The Spanish adopted the word as vaina, which developed a diminutive form, vainilla, meaning “little sheath”. The Spanish made this diminutive the name of the plant because its pods resemble sheaths. ....way too many innuendo's.

This is a story about understanding soil or light skinned original women and thier journey back to themselves… This is emphatically not a story about white women who desire to be original...let’s set the record str8 once and for all.… Vanilla is BLACK.

Everyone has a story I know… for those us of immigrant sisters who are light skinned indigenous peoples we have one too… usually involved a struggle with traditions old and new and trying to find self while walking the fine line between the ancient and so-called modernity… a lot of experimentation within and without cultures and at some point rebellion in some form or fashion from old tradition and then the same rebellion from modernity….

My Iranian ass is most def displaced…. For a long time just had to tuck the thought away that I was born in the wrong class of people (working class that is) and the wrong culture (Irooni). What’s interesting is that many so-called Persians who come to this country came as refugees… but they were royalist supporters of the Shah or children of. These families generally have OLD money, and brought it with them, mostly to LA to implant themselves (and get implants) creating what they now call Tehrangales (Tehran + Los Angeles = Tehrangales)

That’s not how I got here. My lineage is working class. Romeo and Juliet ish brought my parents together and entrepreneurial illegal pharmaceuticals… just months before the revolution. Addiction, Prison, Food stamps, government cheese, canned meat, ghetto public schools, second hand everything and I forgot how to speak Farsi by the time I was 7, even tho it was my first language.

Vanilla is sooo black……

It wasn’t called the black flower for its petals which are pale yellow (like some of us) it was instead highly sought after for its pods which become black after they are properly cultivated…

I know many many immigrant sisters who take the synthetic vanilla road… because they can “pass” attempt to assimilate into popular white culture, dying hair blond, getting blue contacts, and starving themselves to fit into the parameters of western European modernity… the result of this is a lifelong façade that ends in exotic bitter betrayal of self… synthetic vanilla is derived from ethanol… nothing natural about it… and is made to seem other than itself, is cheaper to acquire and the quality is far inferior to the original, which is true of all things extracted from original and all things synthetic that emulate the original.

I did it too in my own rebellious way… well I didn’t come up in the suburbs and when I was comin up punk rock kids didn’t live in the suburbs either (and please don’t get punk rock confused with new wave)… so many of them did however grow up to be stockbrokers and stay at home moms who drive Volvos and take their kids to drama class at the age of 3? (maybe that’s how working class white kids rebel against their circumstances) I was an oddball immigrant, who didn’t have a home in my own country (because it became the Islamic republic of blah blah blah) and didn’t have one here either (because I represent the Islamic republic of blah blah blah…apparently)…and so I felt more at home with the subculture deviants and criminals (who are always more honest about themselves than anyone else)…Punk rock was optimistic depression… social anarchy and socialist theory were such beautiful daydreams….well it ended up being the same exotic bitterness cept now… I know Vanilla is Black, and that pretty much saved my life.

Vanilla is BLACK and let’s not get this confused with African, which is also black yet that’s not what I’m buildin on today.…

You may get it… you may not… you can ask me to clarify if you need me to… I will explain to the best of my abilities… just know this…

Vanilla is Ancient… black, sweet, and essential to after dinner treats….

Vanillicado Parfait –

3 Avocados
3 second pour of Raw Agave Nectar
1.5 second pour organic black vanilla


(I know its green… but Avocado’s are really Black anyway so don’t sweat it)

Layers of Pecans or Almonds (or both)
Layer of fruit (I do strawberries, bananas and blueberries)

It’s good and it HEALS

Originally and medicinally Vanilla is known as an aphrodisiac, not surprising as many sweet smelling plants are. In the 16th century a study was done in Germany with Vanilla used as a cure for impotence. All smiling 362 participants agreed. Of course our South American family already knew this to be true and told Cortez before he took it with him.

I know an elder brother who uses pure Vanilla extract in his coffee and I swear his body odor smells of Vanilla…hmmmmm.

Some more recent studies show that Vanillan, the main constituent in Vanilla, has been found to inhibit the migration and invasion of cancer cells. This means it can stop cancer from spreading and can act as a defense from cells mutating into cancerous ones. This is very recent research and I’m not presenting it as a cure yet research is being done.

While I’m not at all an advocate of extracting a single constituent from what was a whole plant and calling it medicine, or taking a sister out of her native land and calling her American, I do advocate research of whole plants and whole people…. Eat vanilla, it’s BLACK and it’s good for you.

FaaTma Behesht Earth

Saturday, August 9, 2008

"Agha" made the observation that we (the entire bloggroll of women who like words)have a contradiction attached to our pencil (and keyboard)…. We can’t share ours like they do without judgement of a jezebel persuasion.

What if I was brave enough to share.

reading thru ancient journals this morning and was amazed at how much passive rationalization was there. Well since then Sadness has left the building... now I'm in love with the feeling of feeling… everything even when it’s not apparently joyous. Depth of each vibration, where it opens chakras and resonates where it turns over and cultivates.

I would testify that in order to know exalted joy you should experience the other…

What if practicing self love isn’t about masturbation….what about falling in love with all your closets and cliffs…. Maybe it’s called “practice” because it’s ok to fuck up and get up again.

What if I am brave enough to hear the truth….because a lie is a lie.. when your witholding is it the same thing?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Random patterns (not a title, just an observation)

I’m goin thru something… can’t put my finger on it yet, a mentalmorph(metamorphosis) maybe, bornutruth this seems to be a lifelong transformation….


I can (and absolutely do) remember the many moments of epiphany that started a transformative process as well as the earthquake that came before the plateau…

the plateau is contemplative, data sort, analysis…internal translation.
The epiphany is auric orgasms in undefined space.

I’m wary of sharing my internal language as there are always references to unspoken truths and inside jokes (some only known to me) layers, stratum, substratum, dimensions that seem to go on forever so much so that even the crabdragon can lose herself in it… and forget.(6:14)

I travel a lot (3planetsingemini)…. Travel is good. keeping direction... Who’s right angle do I use to measure? Mine seems to take rights into spirals. (15:36)

Will he ever come inside? Even inside where its dark there is always at least the subtle glow from the firy orb out there. (thinking of 6:10)

I had planned to build on equality, my equality today is to share those innerterminals. equality is as equality does I spose.

c.1400, "faculty of perception," also "meaning or interpretation" (esp. of Holy Scripture), from O.Fr. sens, from L. sensus "perception, feeling, undertaking, meaning," from sentire "perceive, feel, know," prob. a fig. use of a lit. meaning "to find one's way," from PIE base *sent- "to go" (cf. O.H.G. sinnan "to go, travel, strive after, have in mind, perceive," Ger. Sinn "sense, mind," O.E. sið "way, journey," O.Ir. set, Welsh hynt "way"). Application to any one of the external or outward senses (touch, sight, hearing, etc.) first recorded 1526

Sunday, August 3, 2008

ecliptic understandings

it was a few days after the new moon eclipse and she thought to herself, "I have two choices. I can go outside with the rulebook and do the knowledge to the world outside the shell and run the risk of losing the shell (daydreamz) or to go inside and get lost amidst the inside of everything in existence and risk losing "them"... Crabdragons are sore losers and are easily distracted ....

Must choose? Really?

bornuniversaltruth on this day the crabdragon was outside, tryna learn the game (again). She was talking with herself about how this was the last time she was gonna play outside cuz she was sure she wasn’t playin the game right… the rules were backwards and everyone used their words out of order and without meaning , inflections rarely matching the utterances. It confused the crabdragon to no end.

You see crabs walk sideways and backwards and dragons fly in circles… so taking directions is not something crabdragons do well if at all….

…crabdragon decided to try again. She began to chant her psalm in her mind and walk thru the wilderness, which by this time of year was full and bursting with fruits for her to digest. As she was picking tart cherries and sweet raspberries on her tao she caught the scent of sulfur. Crabdragons being made up of fiyawata have an affinity, no, an obsession for the natural warm hotsprings that detox while u daydream. She couldn’t resist a dip in the pool.

She knew she would have to undress and that scared her oh so much but she also knew that no one was ever to contaminate the pools with thier baggage. so she clenched her eyes shut and peeled off her outer layers to step into the pool.

As she lay in the warmth bubbling and tingling she peeked open her I to watch her dragonfly sisters resting and flying and sparkling. A beautiful purple and silver dragonfly sister of hers sat next to her perched on the rocks that made up the pool and blew her a bubble and as it floated downward she followed it with her two I’s.

To crabdragons surprise, she saw the suns reflection in the water, and thru that shining orb she saw herself....aaaaah..... for the first time in a while outside of her shell……

Saturday, August 2, 2008

peace. wisdom is the way...the way today is via the digital ethers... I'm writing from my dash (my celly)
I c how my old earth is affected by the information age and how she feels frozen in time. (she is actually learning how to maneuver the www) And on the flip part of the curriculum at my seeds school is online (they move with power! I swear my seeds are airbenders) ... crabdragon is an adaptable creature who has no qualms about learning ancient art forms as well as innovations in theory and time(s) ... theres nothin new anyway ....I imagine its all been done before bornuniversaltruth its my turn to walk the tao and I enjoy the HOW (wisdom) just as much as the knowledge and the understanding.

Friday, August 1, 2008

I've kept a journal for as long as i can remember... and every few years I go thru and reread and tear out pages to save and throw the rest out... also nowadays or for the past few years I've started to write differently... everyone has an aka, mostly this is to prevent the stalkers from going crazy... only I know thier true Identity and that way I can share it and call it fiction (well sometimes it has only happened in my mind but those are just as real as anything else)... I've introduced a few of our characters like the matrix encylopedia - a wiz at data collection, processing information digital and analog and spitting it back out in whatever translation you need - shes a sage. knowledge seed buddha -hood supastar and enlightened manchild , crabdragon - the socialite introvert enigma... you'll meet the rest sooner...
we made calabacita (well my version of it)
its so perty right?... and mmmmmm

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Asceticism is no fun… ‘specially in your guts.

Theres some good wirds out there in the cyber gardens right now.
Saladin wrote a blog with some realistic guidelines to health… not having anything to do with following a regimen, except the regimen of knowledge(ing) your self and what your self as body does well and doesn’t… if that ain’t the science of everything in life and the metaphor for everythin I dunno what is.

Maternal started another blog called exquisitely botanical… shes fallin in love with herself as the earth and teachin!… I can identify and so her story is one I anticipate…

Emblem went Veg with C’BS as his conscious… should be a good story… eat some green things while you experiment with this God.

Crabdragon loves y’all and has to get back to work on raising knowledge wisdom cipher add three cipher DOLLARS! !!!!SOLAR!!!!!

I’m gonna introduce the characters to y’all soon… the story is unfolding nicey nice.

indigenous to peru... purple potatoes.. mmmmm

***disclaimer****I am in a good mood today :-D just jokes & truth mixed up into blogorama... and I have cleaned up my language and washed my mouf out wit soap... pardon self if I have offended anyone.

pessimism drives me *bleeep* crazy... and yes I'm about to complain about complainers.

this is where i sit to talk to you-->
(what a mess!)

let me clarify, no matter what your problem is or what your observation is its your fault. I didn't say the circumstance was your fault, I said whatever your problem is. You have a choice in how you react and how you digest whats thrown at you...people and thier judgments aren't the problem, the problem is that they won't identify that what they are seeing in others is based on thier own experiences and judgements about themselves. I could go on a tangent about how you create your reality and actually I am in my dare you *bleeeep* renounce someone elses divinity, what the *bleeep* do you expect all those folks you passin judgement on to do but to pass judgement on you... how dare you assume that because you "know" (whatever you know) that they don't have somethin to offer you... self righteous, self centered, self absorbed.....

I know I know... this is a note to self. ;-) my judgment is always on those who pass judgment, I oughta kick my own a@@ (behind). ha!


Tuesday, July 29, 2008


goin inside for a while..... to create some majestic representation of me out of clay, stone, or wood...don't do as well with metal.... gonna exersize some physical sensory stimulation.

see y'all in a while.

Monday, July 28, 2008

dragons are firebreathin, beautiful trailblazers, who inspire awe and envy so much so that people sometimes hunt them down to kill them...

crabs walk sideways and sometimes backwards and love to love thier shells that prevent nosy folk from seeing the inner...

dragons are knowitall inciters of (r)evolutions...

crabs are knowitall inciters of remember(ing)...

dragons tell stories of grandeur and fantasy...

crabs like to reminisce over u...

dragons can recite all the holy scripture so swift it'll shut all y'all asses up...

crabs study and understand the science of quiet...

dragons are alone but not lonely...

crabs are lonely but not alone...

Friday, July 25, 2008

metaphors for days and days...

Young Galaxies Have Surprisingly Strong Magnetic Fields: Contradicts Popular Theories

ScienceDaily (2008-07-26) -- The origin of magnetic fields in galaxies is still a mystery to astronomers. Popular theories suggest continual strengthening over billions of years. New research, however, contradicts this assumption and reveals that young galaxies also have strong magnetic fields. ... > read full article

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

in crabdragons knowledge culture rotation (it was 1990 y'all) she read...alot

perusing in her older journals nowadays she finds that a few books that deserve honorable mention that year are.....(drumroll please)

unbearable lightness of being (erotic existentialisms)
message to the blackman(black man is god...)
electric koolaid acid test(psychadelic beginnings)
story of the eye(uh oh!)
100 years of solitude (alchemic translations)

no wonder the girl is crazy huh?

yes sir....progeny prodegy

I obbsessively listen to music. everyone says that right.

My brotherluv, the twintigermonk says the industrial age is over. he's really the only person I can build with on visual stimulation/art/design and theory of... art nerds are the worst arent't we? the combination of philosopher, mathematician with some OCD and the fact that I claim we're high scientists shows that we also have ego's bigger than we can carry most times...

being original in Art school was a tumultuous love/hate affair... going thru your akashic asiatic internal reference libraries every day... and watch it be co-opted. Even still. headphones are your bestest most treasured and dearest keep the devil off the planet while I'm tryin to manifest divinity...otherwise we'd be having too many conversations about olmecs and eqyptians being original (you wouldn't believe how many dummies think otherwise), and I woulda knocked someone the fuck out if I had to listen to that debate on Art vs Craft one more time.

is bjork original? I don't care.

Herb school was harder because I had to listen to the lecture and couldn't rock the headphones... all the information was original, oozing of melanin... when it was time to build on the science of the pineal gland it was too much for my crab(by)dragon ass...walked out and it took a really long conversation with myself to go back...its all good if they wanna be Wiccan... and I could care less if your 1/16th cherokee and have a friend who's from ghana... I still have to correct you (and wanna smack u)when you ask me to say something in Arabic (we speak Farsi in Iran) and tell me how exotic I am.

...didn't finish either but I miss art theory AND studio access. school ain't for erybody. when I opened my first restaurant that was validated by the people I would meet...these kids in the mountains opened a vegan burger joint, drive thru and all.... super smart on the business tip. And they were ra fooder backpackers who wouldn't even eat the food they were fryin up. I asked the kid who started the vegan burger joint if he went to culinary school. He said he ain even graduate from high school. it made me smile. I dig school and see the benefit to society and at the same time I abhor self righteous academics. especially when we all know that so many supreme scientists were self taught. I obsessively listen to music. and while I know everyone says that, I know I do it more than most. children of musicians & artists are a strange breed. progeny prodegy who can play anythin by ear, and who carry a soundtrack with them erywhere they go...

...then what happened?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

she plays in the dirt.

gardening. turning it over...takin care to keep the worms. planting... always from seed, even tho 'they' always tell her not to. weeding, but only when they shove the newborns. watering...obsessivly because she lives in the desert. prudently pruning even tho she loves overgrowth.

she plays in the dirt.

clay makings. kentucky ball clay, silica, a lil flux. high fire all day er'yday. ferment till it smells. knead and knead all her tensions away (and bubbles too) preventing explosions in firewater in more ways than one. pull up and form with equality of force and skill. trim. add fire x 2.

she plays in the dirt.

a werd.wird.word.wurd.wyrd.drow. drown her thoughts out. she takes dirty words and and and ... washes & shines them up like a favorite...cus washing your brain is as essential as washing your ass.

she plays in the dirt.

hoodfun. dirty jobs. dirty dudes. dirty games w/ dirty rules.

she plays in the dirt.

Friday, July 18, 2008

shvetashvatara upanishad

the faces of god
he resides in the city with nine gates,
which is the body. he moves in the world
enjoying the play of his countless forms.
he is the master of the universe,
of animate and inanimate.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The trigram Tui, the Joyous, whose attribute is gladness, is above; Chên, the Arousing, which has the attribute of movement, is below. Joy in movement induces following. The Joyous is the youngest daughter, while the Arousing is the eldest son. An older man defers to a young girl and shows her consideration. By this he moves her to follow him.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

knowledge power all bein born to equality? which equality is that? is equality relative too now?

yup... y'all dun pissed me off for the last fuckin time.

she blogs, its true, b.u.t. doesn't live online and doesn't have a fantasy online persona. has however met people online and has made some lasting friends and met some dudes who are coocooloco! whew. romancing the net is ill advised...b.u.t. a good story *wink*

equality is balance.... i invite you all to implement it into your lives.

crabdragon make every attempt to keep the peace in this piece. she is a romantic (shes not lookinpanub shes just daydreamy), uber super heroin ( I still ain got my badge tho b*it@hes), and loves to hate wyrds and wirdsmiths. this is fun. not required. not obligatory. hardly productive. simply an outlet because clay needs meditation... if it wasn't here in my matrix space it would be in a pretty book in my pretty bag, on my pretty hip (actually all the good stuff still is). She don't speak or understand LOL, RFLOAMDHGJYGHGJG or any of that other shit.

equality is balance.... i invite you all to subscribe to the catalog of the universe... and buy a mirror.

crabdragon is also singular (contrary to unpopular 'belief')...not lookin (always seein) a little arrogant (in the most humble way) and as funny as a crabdragon cockroach from the middle east can b. crabdragon studies all the sciences in life and cross references in her shell and then... makes jokes out of it... with a potty mouth no less, because well... thats how she remembers the lessons...and remembering is why crabdragon tells stories..

equality is balance... i invite you all to digest and defacate.... think about that cycle.

crabdragon mostly loves green things that grow (or don't) and respond in the most subtle way to the energy she emits.... wishing people were only so perceptive. some are... like the sage matrix encyclopedia, and the knowledge seed buddha, and the seeds (evergrowing into the best knowers and BE-ers)... and maybe even the invisible agha.

equality is balance... i invite you all to be yourselves with and for your seeds.

she, the crabdragon is in love.... with... herself.

Monday, July 14, 2008



Sunday, July 13, 2008

crabdragon was a little girl once and is still on occasion (don't tell nobody). she was born in a strange place in a strange time of star crossed lovers who rebelled without a cause. one dreamy guitar pic away at a war that taught him about her(oin) and one a firecracker disguised as a rose who was stuck in a mason jar.

then here comes teeny weeny big eyed firebreathin crabdragon... fists held high.

they had no idea what to do with such a thing.

in this far away place with these strange people of this strange land there is a story about a one who is dark and curious...about herself and to the universe. she pushes the boundaries till they break. she doesn't want to marry instead she has wanderlust.... until she finds her 'agha' (mister) oh what a sweet dark fairytale... this is the story of crabdragons namesake... sooski

they called crabdragon sooski because crabdragon resembled her in stature and in mannerisms... not like her mother who was a sweet smelling rose (thorns and all)... they had forgotten what daddy was like he'd been away so long... and they thought he was bad luck.

khaleh sooski...

"are you sure she's yours? she doesn't look like you at all... in fact she looks a lil like the mailman...."

the rumors began to fly...

they had no idea what sort of story they were writing for the crabdragon enigma.

khaleh sooski... translation = lil miss cockroach.

cross reference/ I'm not ur substitute lover

An exercise in no beginning nor ending and some funny words.

Knowledge add Understanding borns Culture. Language. Cultivation of… ( r ) evolution of…
Master(y) of the tools you gain from absorbing and transforming and what you do widdum…
Knowledge wisdom cipher ( I already told you I ain got all the degrees and we don’t build on what we don’t know….. soon come but for today… here we are)
4:10 People not nation. Its not culture, its acculturation. Its not cooperative its co-opted. However there is a “language” that has developed over “time”.
4:36 Language is the symbols of culture. mine is mathematics uncle (my fathers brother who does not know he is my uncle because of the degrees following this one) does not speak his own language. No judgment. Just the reality (oh we’ll build on reality soon enuf)
13:36 What is his own self? His or mine? I think its key to know who were talkin about and if there is a delineation. My own self is FaaTma. Receiver of my brother and fathers light (1), which is then transformed (3) and given back to the seeds/garden/ fed to the world.

by the way... I'm not gon set trip w/ y'all.
22:36 Affirmative. Wisdom is as wisdom does and that’s culture.
31:36 What happens after (anything) is the result of what has happened already. So proper digestion of knowledge creates a culture the process of what happens next.
4:14… yacub was an original man and father of the devil. Sometimes he starts shit. Pay attention to the pattern and the process…. Make them walk every step of the way…
13:14 I will testify to being comfortable as Lieutenant. I don’t wanna be a Man.
4:40 We survey (1) our surroundings completely (9) so that we are equipped to reach each person where they are at (6) so that we can reveal (9) our value system (4) regardless of a person's economic level (0), ethnic group (0), social group (0), or age (0).
To be continued…. Don’t worry.

13. Sameness with people/Fellowship with men. T’ung Jen.
Sameness with people in the wilderness is developmental. It is beneficial to cross great rivers. It is beneficial for a superior person to be upright.

Another translation.
13: FELLOWSHIP WITH MEN in the open. Success. It furthers one to cross the great water. The perseverance of the superior man furthers.

Verse 13: As rain sweeps through an ill-thatched hut, passion will seep through and untrained mind.

Tao Te Ching
“Welcome discrace as a pleasant surprise. Prize calamities as your own body.”
Why should we “welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise”?
Because a lowly state is a boon:
Getting it is a pleasant surprise,
And so is losing it!
That is why we should “welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise.”
Why should we “prize calamities as our own body”?
Because our body is the very source of our calamities.
If we have no body, what calamities can we have?
Hence, only he who is willing to give his body for the
sake of the world is fit to be entrusted with the world.
Only he who can do it with love is worthy of being the
steward of the world.

Prashna Upanishad
Verse 13:
“ The wise see the Lord of Love in the day;
Rayi is the dark night, prana daylight.
Those who use their days for sexual pleasure consume prana, the very stuff of life;
But mastered, sex becomes a spiritual force.

7th chapter, saying 13
In the generation of Lord Katsushige there were retainers who, regardless of high or low rank, were requested to work before the master from the time they were young. When Shiba Kizaemon was doing such service, once the master was clipping his nails and said, “Throw these away.” Kizaemon held them in his hand but did not stand up, and the master said, “What’s the matter?” Kizaemon said, “There’s one missing.” The master said, “Here it is,” and handed over the one that he had hidden.

Friday, July 11, 2008

inspiracy not conspiracy

"..." means "to be continued"... the crabdragon uses "elipses" frequently and its because you are supposed to ...pause...people rarely finish thier thoughts out loud b.u.t. you can see them if you pay attention...ways/mannerisms speak to your all your senses. words can too, altho it prolly takes a highly developed ear to digest words in thier fullness.

older/younger brother amen and crabdragon build alot about the word "cipher". he says cipher comes before knowledge and not after born because it is that pure potential. dragon reminds him that cipher has no beginning nor ending so some place it after born to signify the continuance to knowledge. crabdragon says shes gonna add cipher to her name eventually and knows it'll prolly cause a ruckus. amen says crabdragon is rebellious...

therein is fruit and date-palms producing spathes...


2:10 - sometimes realization that a thing is grafted from its original is all you need to see that bridge to understanding. devil is lived backward...

2:36 - we walk alone (you lil crybabies.) when you find the space between alone and lonely you'll be straight.

11:36 - did somebody ask a question? pay attention!

20:36 - a little over knowledge god add equality ciphers. (always gives me this visual of the queen juggling way too much) the TAO cipher is more than knowledge of god.

29:36 - sometimes we be so worried about what 'they' doin we miss out on making now happen.

2:14 - savage? "able or disposed to inflict pain or suffering" (on self in that blind/deaf/dumb way) civilize? i still struggle with that word...iranian baggage maybe.

11:14 - whats the bond made of? I'd like to know since folks don't even understand the words that be comin outta thier mouths, how can they be held to promise?

bond, "an electrical force linking atoms or the joining of surfaces of different composition" ... we always talking to ourselves ain we. see self is the only binding force to self people. however different we appear... its on you, I mean me...

2:40 circumference 'the distance around the outside of a circle' wisdom culture build born equality... approximately "fairly close to correct" wisdom power add understanding ciphers

following the creationary god degree (1:40 who made it?) and relating to self (earf) it speaks to the 'outward' expression of my tao.

y'all read stephen chang?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

right foods for er'body

Peace Family –
I was meeting with a friend last week… and we were talking about perceptions and business and dollars and money and language and community and being (heart & mind)open and he said something to the effect of “ what does business look like for you?” And I said something to the effect of, it’s not really about business in the common sense of the word, it’s about a movement in community.
We don't have to eat the wrong foods...

I (Faatma, lover of vegetables and people) invite YOU to join us.

We know you want SOLAR to open soon. We do too. This is your opportunity to become a part of a movement in food & culture for YOU(and everybody else). There are those that don’t believe that SOLAR can work because people don’t like vegetables. But we know YOU do.
We are short some dollars to begin the building process for SOLAR and have exhausted all the normal bureaucratic avenues for said dollars. So now we turn to those who have been calling, emailing, stopping by and blowing kisses in anticipation of SOLAR in the CITY.

Sponsorships/Donations/Gifts from you can make it happen and then we can show the universe (and be trailblazers in our city) how invested the people are in their own personal health and the longevity of the community.

It’s always been a part of SOLAR’s mission for the organization and the space to be community driven and for the people and now it can also be BY the people. As you know while we are in the “business” of food, we are also very much in the business of FUN. So in thinking about how to commemorate the people who offer Sponsorships/Donations/Gifts and we‘ve started visioning the inspiracy (not conspiracy) like this:

Whether you have one dollar or a thousand dollars we value you and all dollars are welcome!
*FLOWER ESSENCE* EVERY Sponsorships/Donations/Gifts will forever have their name on the wall of fame & get a limited edition (only 100 printed) SOLAR – innerG & Livity Tee Shirt.

*LEAF/STEM INFUSION* Sponsorships/Donations/Gifts over $100 get the above plus they get to name a plate… whatever they want (so long as its uplifting), whether it’s your name, a superhero, a quote (short)…etcetera (you get the drift)

*ESSENTIAL OILS* Sponsorships/Donations/Gifts over $300 get the above plus they get to name a space. It could be named after you or after someone/thing you admire. Spaces like The kids corner, the bar, the theatre, the gallery, the dining area, the lounge, the kitchen, the community wall, the newsstand, etc….

I’m at SOLAR all day every Monday slanging vegetables for the OG LunchBox and would love to share our plans with you. Come visit me…. I’ll show you the space plan, the “business”plan, the menu (ooooh), and give you a tour.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Friday, July 4, 2008

blablablee on culture

we live out here in the valleys by the mountains…desert… power wisdom build cipher miles above the water that I need.
Words are my triggers… words are everyone elses triggers too… I just pay attention.
The Word Culture comes from the latin Cultura which is derived from the word colere meaning appropriately “to cultivate”.
Some people would testify that culture is preserved for the righteous. Just know that a lot of words in English exist in polarity and perception. I mean you can take almost every righteous word and turn it into propaganda or self righteous rhetoric… or you can be right. That’s up to the person I ‘spose. Some would live out a so-called culture of propaganda and half truths none the wiser and swear by its origins having never been at the making. ..also known as Patriotism!

Cultivate means - to foster growth, the work the soil to prepare for crops, to educate or refine oneself, to nurture, to cause to grow….If you’ve ever had a garden (as I do) you know that preparation for planting life is more a more arduous task than planting and cultivating doesn’t end at tilling the soil, it calls for fertilizer, it calls for weeding, it calls for balance of placement and soil quality as well as management of other life forms who are there to take what you have planted… it’s a constant task to cultivate. Self and the garden. Use the metaphors as you will.
within culture we share symbols or language. Our language is older than the sun moon and stars.

You can lay mathematics next to any culture and see how it’s related. You can compare it to the Tao, the Vedanta, the Bible or Koran and see the order of things…to do the knowledge, move with wisdom, to gain an understanding, to propagate our culture, to manifest personal power, to deal in equality, to know that the black man is god, to build nations destroy bad habits and born life in many forms….

…and Eff some fireworks.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

the crabdragon never take naps midday...usually having altogether too many things to do in a day. however today she had some time to do some leisurly reading and went to dreaming....

now before we tell you about the dream, u should be forwarned that the crabdragon is notorious for her lucid, surreal, overtly covertly symbolic dreamvisions. Oh hell naaw they ain't prophetic... its like every character in the dream is an aspect of self and they are playin out some dali-esque wonka version of this life.

**** back in the days when i was a teenager, before I had status and before I had a pager, i.e. when she had roomates, no one would rest in her bed (except for boys) because then they too would have some super uber lucid SEUSS-anian visions.

the crabdragon could fill volumes with her resting travels... it must offer some kind of freedom from obligatory etiquette-ary behavior, some kind of miyazaki on LSD thing happenin. back to the midday dream... she was at the carnival and waiting in some holding area built like a small round theatre while we waiting for the water was raining... water was spewing in all the old cracks in the walls and there was a water bed in an upstairs room that was literally just a pool that this freak was resting on/in.

water lives in all her dreams, whether rain, floods, storms, you get the point.

Monday, June 30, 2008


standing outside with my matrix encyclopedia in front of SOLAR slangin' vegetables (as I do er'y monday)...

SOLAR is between an apartment building (historic building on the main st. that houses elders mostly) and one of the oldest original bars in our city, used to be called "Waiters & Porters" back in the day and is now called "M&M's"

...and this elder brother is walkin down the street...

Elder Brother (EB): I heard y'all opening up a restaurant....what kind
Faa & Cel (FC): vegetarian
EB: awww hell... hahaaaa... well..
FC: well now don't you eat vegetables wicha meat?
EB: you no what pretty girl, Ima tell you somethin... I'ma country ni@@a!
FC: hahaaaa... well what about dessert?
EB: well you don't get to look as good as me at 63 eating dessert!

touche right?!
so elderbrother goes on to tell us how he likes pork chops and lambshanks, and chicken and he'll even go across the street now and again and get a pig ear sammich, but he can see how we doin alright w/ the veggies *wink *wink

EB: you know Mr. Sherman who was here back in the days?
FC: nah... what did Mr. Sherman do?
EB: He made Art up in here but we used to (as he's rollin imaginary dice) up in here...

he breaks down some other history about the "Sign Man" who rode a Harley with a mean ass poodle in the front basket that would tear you anew socket and the "Key Man" who went to the belly and came out a minister who now has a big fancy church with at least 10,000 followers...

EB: I see your headwrap sister ASALAMALAKUM!
FC: wa alakumsalam (I just can't disprespect my elders - it's some immigrant training that is uber-ingrained in me)
EB: I was a muslim for 30 years but then one day I saw all the chaos and hatred that live out here (pointin around the neighborhood) and I went back to the Koran and the Bible and checked to make sure what I was feelin was right... and you know what... not one place in either of those holy books does it say that you should be a Muslim, or that you should be a Christian or even that you should be RELIGIOUS... so I said fuck it. I can't be a Muslim because theres too much bickerin, and I can't be a Christian because theres too much bickerin, and I abide by the laws and I get my drink on and I'm at PEACE.

hood gems are the best gems..

They call him "Doc" and if I ever need him to whoop somebodies ass I just need to knock on the second window to the corner.

Understanding your cipher means having clear vision of what your circumference offers you and where the best part lives... I love my hood.

Friday, June 27, 2008

understanding my wisdom is some powerful shit.... I've been around the sun that many times at the date of this writing.....earfbirfbornday.... physical degrees of separation/integration.

she tried to hide but they all followed the crab(by bitch)dragon...unexpectedly the crabdragon, walkin sideways and chanting some taoist blablablee found some loud and rambuncious gypsy twins. The crabdragon always tries to hide from them for no obvious reason at all. They smiled and told her they thought her bandage was pretty, handed her the golden mean and dissapeared without a word. no lie. thats what happenned.

the ethereal young knowledge seed buddha whispered to the crabdragon that she is a hood supastar and gave her some kush from kush & vanillasheabutta all in the midst of a long-standing thought about how black vanilla really is...

bein born on the wisdom god day borns some heavy sideways walkin. listen now, don't think for one minute that the crabdragon don't enjoy every minute of her sideways backwards firebreathin highflyin existence. she loves all these freaks.

oh and the freaks (who I love) took the vegan crabdragon to a sushi spot and served her fried cheescake while the crabdragon seeds sang happy birfday (SW Style).

a prince from the east who lives in the west, my favorite aquatic sis who is the place where knowledge and wisdom started when the planet was first found(ed). and an encyclopedia for the matrix made my... oh I mean the crabdragon's day.... that and the fuckin ridiculous mixtape she made in her shell just now.

......fairytales are better with explitives.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

a constant yes…
I am usually excited for another rotation around the sun but this year for some reason it triggered some ceerius contemplative geothermal exchange about this UNIverse I maneuver thru. Yes.

Oooh the crab has been walkin sideways just a grumpy lil bitch for days… and even still all I get is straight goodness. Yes.

1st of all, (I’ve said this b4 and I’ll say it again) knowledge comes from whatever angle you receive it from. Relative. The Criminal has just as many jewels as the PhD (if not more.) Check yo’self. That’s right folks…get your read on and expand on your vocabulary and get abstract, and read up on your Quantum Mechanics and String Theory and study the Tao and Vedanta and Dogon Astronomy and how it relates to 120…and know how to speak it to EVERYBODY – translate to ANYBODY… cus who cares if all you get to do is spew rhetoric with other scholars. I care about all of it. And I feel comfortable in the company of those who break apart language and ignore the rules of self righteousness and walk all over isms and challenge hierarchy. Also Known As "Criminals". Yes.

Words are my most devoted nemesis. Yes.

Righteous. Hmmm … Oh the righteous thug is every girls dream… but that’s another story altogether. What makes a thing righteous? (15:36) Who’s right angle is measuring? What does upright mean to you? A long time ago I read this book, “The Seven Taoist Masters”, and in it there are 7 Taoist monks all looking to get the Golden Peach (immortality as they call it). All these brothers (and one sister) did all their internal exercises and followed all the rules and walked the Tao very so-called upright. And one by one got knocked on their asses by self-righteousness. One monk finally stopped trying to curb his desire for the brothel and moved in and just know that he attained that Golden Peach. At another point you meet some so-called criminals who you come to find out are actually just reclaiming the karmic debt owed to them. Perception is a mutha right? Yes.

6:14 for real tho… classism and divisiveness in academics is real. It’s really not about how many words you know, how many books you’ve read, how many degrees you have. It’s about how many languages you speak. And I don’t mean French and Chinese. Do you speak hood like you speak Ivy League? Yes.

I talked to this sister today who said, “The one thing I know to be true like I know the sun rises and sets every day… is that the universe is a constant yes.” I think that’s the most profound thing I’ve heard all day. Yes.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

12. L Love Hell or Right – knowledge wisdom a.b.b.t. understanding – to observe the created circumstance with clarity of vision and accept it or correct it. Love is the highest form of understanding, a word often misused, Hell is where we live as we are dumb deaf and blind – feeling as if things are beyond our control, to right is to correct words ways and actions in order to be productive to self, family and there.

the ever (r)evolving Earth Fa'aTma

Monday, June 9, 2008

its not over at born... its not just beginning either...lets use some other words instead.


just a few.

keep it simple for the babies.


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

mercury in retrograde.... yeah I b one of those... who cares what the hororscope is really altho why not pay closer attention to the way the planets align and interactions with the sun make and change life on earth... you know what I'm talkin about right?

the existentialist says, "you make it what you wanna, and you see what you wanna c" and thats true enuf too... so whatever, I wanna see relationship based science and how and when and why culture happens on a macrocosmic level and a microcosmic level and guess what else... they are the same thing।

retrograde means something like, "going backward" right? and we could look at it like backward steps if you wanna, yet even backward steps allow for progression if you are aware of what is happening and aren't "regressing" which is something altogether different. here we are invited to "revisit" the so-called "past" and relationships of the aformentioned so-called "past"...

were all relationship based yet where we differ is whether or no we are dealing with our relationships of people, of places, or of things... and revisiting/reflecting/reenacting (in my head) are things I have done all my life.

day dreams if you will...

culture is interesting and interestingly misunderstood. culture is cultivated like a garden. people/places/things in the garden all interact with a determined idea and purpose. each has a role not valued more than another and driven by thier interactions and thier determined outcomes...

did y'all notice how the 1st order of business for our messianic icon (Obama) was to offer allegiance to the zionists? fuckin miisguided attempt for what may seem to be a position of power (presidency). Power being the ability to master a task (or nation) based on your ability as the best knower of a thing.

well I'm off the Obama wagon y'all...officially not for the aformentioned...for many many reactions I have observed as miguided intentional displays of the American Dream.....

its raining and as you know...when it rains... it mf'in pours.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

cloud formations

wisdom walks over to build & destroy and says "do the knowledge to ur cipher" and they all walked over to where they started and saw exactly how they got there.

...why do we spend so much time worrying about whether or not the next (wo)man is eating the wrong foods while we are partaking in them (via gossip)

...just do u... eat the right foods ... don't talk about it... (you know the rest)

peas & rice forever.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

existential day dreams of the dragon

I b the wisdom of god born to live out mathematics. I was born on the wisdom god day of justice u now equality. I’ve created a holy-day out of the wisdom god day of every year.
Every wisdom god day I return to ask myself if I am being wise, in accordance with allahs mathematics and if what I born is whole…..
No doubt this queen is qualified to absorb and transform borning nations and nourishment for all those to catch a gander in amazement.
… and I have more fun in my head than most have in thier daily lives… I dunno if I should b proud of that or not… my existentialist self says its all the same no matter how u slice it.
I b the wisdom of god that borns paradise….